Killing the engineers in us

IIT has induced many qualities in me, and one of the rather bad qualities is Slackness. When one clears JEE, the mind automatically switches off for many. And after almost completing 50% of my life here at IITM, I know this is true for me too. One notion gets set in our mindset, "Ab to life set ho gayi meri". This belief has been infused in us by many people- our coaching institute faculty, our parents, relatives, peers and everyone who has an idea what an IIT is.

The root of the problem is here. We don't take the courses in IIT seriously. "Yaar, ho hi jayega" has become our mentality. The enthusiasm to actually do well has vanished. When one compares the amount of hard work we put during our 12th days, it is alarming to see the results drop so low in internal exams. And this is what I am feeling bad about. My end sems start from 26th April and many would rebuke me saying why the hell am I wasting one hour on this post. But, I would just tell that sometimes you need to write something to prove its importance in retrospection. I may again go back to my lax attitude towards academics and this being most probable going by the success record of my innumerable vows to study.

People who just miss by a hair in JEE and end up in other Engineering colleges don't have this slackness. They know that they haven't reached the zenith and hence though they have access to facilities one-tenth of those available in IITs, they strive to do well in their life. Hence, after 4 years of Engineering, people from other engineering colleges do much better than IITians in GATE. IITians lose their edge in 4 years of their engineering. They learn other things, they learn how to mint money, how to manage things, how to get through CAT, but most of them don't learn engineering. When asked about it, we proudly say, "I was never interested in engineering, it was just the best option to take." Even I say that guys, and to be very true, I sometimes feel ashamed and guilty too.

I don't know whether I would myself try to keep my focus on engineering and not venture into other prospects. But, I would like people to actually do justice to what they have taken. Its your responsibility and not your choice to do well here. IITs are even thinking of dividing B.Tech degree into two : B.Tech and B.Tech (Honours). The latter will be more project oriented and will be for the people who want to take up engineering. One can take this up after 4 years of normal underrated B.Tech degree. The former will be for the people who just want the IIT brand and want to opt for other careers. The brand of IIT is not as golden as it was some 10 years before. Companies now have a bad image of IITians. They complain that we have too much attitude. And seeing the attitude of my fellow mates, I won't deny this allegation. The IIT alumni still has deep reverence for these golden institutions and hence backs it up whenever necessary. But, we are too self-centered to realise this. We just want to have loads of fun in our 4 years, get the degree which we haven't worked for and want to get out of here with a decent enough job. I am not lecturing here about not to have fun, I am just telling that we should optimise everything. These are the best 4 years of our life and I want that we make sure that after 4 years, people don't rebuke us saying that we were just plain lucky to clear JEE and that we didn't deserve to be in IIT.

Everything is not well here in IIT and the earlier one gets this point, the better will be the future of IIT.

Be "KINKY" !!!

There are times when one feels lost, one feels cornered or left out. One feels that everything or everyone has changed around him. One realises that nothing is constant around us, everything undergoes change. Sometimes, it happens that you don't know what is wrong but you feel that something is wrong. Sometimes, you don't know the reason but you feel elated. Some days, you are in a jolly mood. Sometimes, there is gloom all around you. You need to experience dejection to know how good one feels when in high spirits.You need to perceive darkness to know the real meaning of light. Remember Shit happens sometimes, but one should try to mould oneself accordingly.

A little story which will make my point crystal clear.

Once upon a time, there lived a kingfisher whose name was 'Kinky'. Kinky was blissfully ignorant. He lived beside a reservoir which had loads of fishes. He never had an off day. There was plenty of food for him in the reservoir. Time flew by and humans started poking their 'thing' even in 'kinky' matters. Fishes reduced due to all the excessive pollution and human intervention. The reservoir was overused and 'Kinky' felt that something was wrong. The number of fishes reduced, but still he didn't care since he was getting plenty. That is our nature, though we feel something is wrong we won't care until the last moment. So, 'kinky' kept procrastinating his endeavours to satisfy his 'carnal' needs. But, Allzzz Not Well always. One day, he dipped his long organ his beak into the water. And, he found a plastic bottle instead of tasty fishes. He searched the waters, but the fishes were gone. Kinky's eyes opened to the naked reality. Kinky dear couldn't dip his beak into the fishes anymore.
He still imagined swarm of fishes playing in the pool. But, he started starving. It was a first for him. He had never thought that this could happen. One fine day, he wakes up and finds no fish to dip his beak in!!! This thought even hadn't formed in the wildest and kinkiest of his dreams. He had dreams earlier in which he would be devouring the fishes in every style possible.
Kinky left the reservoir and started venturing into virgin territories. But these virgin territories didn't have fishes to dig on. In one of these territories, he met Cain. Cain was a long necked crane who lived in marshy areas. He had never ventured into fresh water lakes and hence had to have a diet which ranged from rodents to insects to even plants. He seldom feasted on fishes since it was a scarce commodity there. Kinky now was starving to death. His vibrant colours had become pale and he had become too weak to fly any further.
Kinky now knew the reason of his condition- he was too lazy to think about the disappearing fishes, he wasn't accepting the fact that times have changed. He knew that he should have thought of this earlier. He realised the importance of backups in these crunch situations. He became friends with Cain. Cain taught him how to eat worms. Kinky felt very demeaning at first, but he realised that if he has to survive, he needs other options. He ate worms and then frogs and even plants.
After weeks of this new diet, Kinky wanted to go back to his reservoir. But, he didn't know whether it will be fruitful or not. One day, they saw fishes in the marshy waters. Both, Kinky and Cain made handsome picks and had enough fishes to last the next two days. Kinky, now when he thrusted his beak into the fish felt different. It felt rewarding to gobble up fish. He now actually relished the taste of its meat.
He devoured the fishes taking his own sweet time and savouring each bit of it. He kept his spirits high even when he didn't have fishes to feast on. Since he now understood the actual relish and never complained while eating degraded worms and plants. He felt that its always better to adapt to changes, since you need to evolve into a better being.

This story took its shape in my mind as I started writing this post. One should always adapt to changes however bizarre and unconventional one is. "Kinky", was conventional first, he never tasted anything other than fishes. But, then he was forced to change tastes and Cain helped him in this. The kingfisher finally did justice to his name, "kinky" by trying out different tastes. People should embrace changes and mould themselves according to it. If you are not the one bringing about a change, then you yourself should change with the world.These changes throw you out of your comfort zone and show you the stark reality. If you are conventional, you are like the people who don't have a name. They are just people. They have lost their individuality since they are not different. If one wants to make it big, one has to be 'Kinky'.

The Dream

You always have few days in your lives which are worth remembering. Because these days are turning points in your life. These days are like strategic events. If there would have been a slight change in the event of that day your future may be completely different, something on the lines of 'Butterfly Effect.'

One of the turning points of my life is the day when I got selected in the most premier engineering college of India, The Institute of Infinite Tension. Yeah you got it right I got into IIT. And as expected,that day had its fair share of anxiety.
It was a bright, sunny May morning. The calmness outside was in stark contrast with the storm taking shape inside me. More because of what I had experienced a few hours back. The JEE results were scheduled to be be released at 9 am on 30th May,2008 . Since I was feeling anxious on the night before, I had retired to sleep early. But I had been counting rotations of the ceiling fan and then brooding over what will be my options if I did not clear JEE or didn't get a decent enough rank in it.

A dark corridor awaits me. There is jet black darkness around. A blanket of chillness envelopes me. It looks like it is the lull before a storm. When I concentrate hard, I can see light coming from the right end of corridor. I start walking towards it, trying to listen hard to any sound, any clue. My mind can't think of any place where I could be. I slowly reach the end of the corridor where it takes an abrupt right turn.
My heart misses a beat when I see what is waiting for me. There stands a huge figure something like half a serpent and half a horse. The statue is four legged and resembles the body of a horse. The neck of the horse is slender and it gives way to a snake like creature on the top. The eyes look like the abode of evil spirits. The eyes of the statue look cold, ruthless and are baying for blood. After examining the figure, I see the dais of the statue. And I feel dizziness creeping through me. Written on the stone dais in bronze is INDIAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY.

I start feeling something on the back of my head. Its not any kind of excruciating pain, but some kind of disturbance. I can now hear some sound, a similar one but I can't remember where I have heard it. The feeling behind my head now grew stronger. I went ahead to touch the engravings. But just as I am half an inch away from touching the 'I' in INDIAN, I feel that my leg is stuck. I try desperately to reach the engraving, but my leg won't give way. My heart is throbbing and I try frantically to free my leg, but I can't see the place where my leg is stuck in the pitch black darkness. Just then, I can feel something is humming a tune behind. Something is vibrating behind my head. And then I hear the words, " Pappu can't dance saala!!!"

Yes, you read it right.... I woke up with a sudden jerk. And then I heard my phone blaring this new youth cult song which was my ring tone that time. The phone was kept beneath my pillow and it was vibrating. Then, I went for my leg and I saw that it was stuck between the wooden bars on the side of the bed. I was panting heavily as if I had seen some ghost. It all slowly started coming back to me. The dark corridor, the bizarre statue, the stone engravings reading IIT. I guess it was a cumulative effect of Harry Potter movie which I had seen the day before for the umpteenth time and the frenzy of the JEE result that I saw this nightmare.

I woke up, cleared up my thoughts and went to room in which the desktop was kept. The clock showed 8.40 am. I logged on to Internet to check my result. The sites were already jammed but still I managed to get through net clog. I waited patiently for 15 minutes, checking mails meanwhile and surfing the internet. But just as, it struck 9, I got impatient. The link to results was not opening. Explorer was blaring "The page cannot be displayed" everytime I tried to get my result. I had told my parents not to come to the room to see my result. I would see it first and then let them know. Now, I was getting impatient and kind of crazy. My mind was clouded, different thoughts were coming into my mind. I was thinking how one moment can change our life. Thats when I realised the importance of a split second. The next moment , the page cannot be displayed message was not there. Instead on a green background, and in black font IT was written. I don't remember it exactly except my name and rank. But, it was close to this.

Name: Koustuv Roy
Reg N0: 5048243

Congratulations. You have been selected.
All India Rank: 2949
Counselling date: 7th June, 2008

I was relieved to see the result but disappointed to see the rank. I expected a better rank. But, God had other plans. I didn't know which of the seven IITs I will be going to. But, I was kind of relieved that my parents had their dream fulfilled. I came out of the room and went into Mom and Dad's bedroom. Both were ecstatic when they heard the news that I got through JEE. But, somewhere I could feel the disappointment in my heart. I told Dad that I was not happy with my rank. And then he said to me, "Son, you are the first from our whole family to get into IIT and thats the main point." It was true. Our families had people from every profession. All of them were highly educated, there were doctors, professors, bureaucrats, managers and engineers from other colleges but no one had gone to IIT. Dad further continued,"Son, this is life. You will never be satisfied with what you get. And this feeling should be taken in a positive manner so that you do better ahead in life. You should not get depressed by this. Always aspire for the zenith and even when you reach it, try raising the zenith." This was one advice which I always would remember and it has helped me numerous times in two years of my ongoing IIT life.

This was one of the days I would cherish for the rest of my life. Not only because I got into IIT, also because I started believing that we should look at the bigger picture ahead and should not be short sighted. The dream suddenly made sense. The creature half snake and half horse was a guy who had cleared JEE. He was smarter and quicker than others in JEE simlar to a horse. But, he had a weak eyesight similar to a snake. The person who goes to IIT doesn't have any clue what to do next. He is short sighted, his aim until now was to clear IIT and he is still stuck in it retrospecting about better ranks and better branches.

The dream might have been just an aberration resulting from Harry Potter movie, but it made sense to me since it happened on the night before the results.Whatever be it, this experience has helped me develop my personality and become far sighted.
I hope you would have enjoyed reading this and might have connected it to your life somewhere.

Shock Laga!!!

You enter a class knowing that you would be getting answer sheets. You are already precisely 15 minutes late. You hope that you did not screw up this one. But deep down you remember the day when you gave this very exam and it all comes back to you. How you did not complete the answers because of lack of time or knowledge, the latter being the reason and the former the excus . How you studied at the last moment feeling confident that you can crack any subject? But, rather it was your negligence and overconfidence. Whatever be the case, I see the paper while being handed over to me and i get an electric shock, the one which sets me up for more.

After discussing the answers, the prof says to the guys who scored well below average to meet him. I did not know how others had fared. But, when got to knew, I felt a chill of anguish and pain through my spine. Everyone had scored at least twice my score and many had scored thrice too. I was in the rock bottom with only six below me in a class of 31. This was the biggest shock. It generally used to be the other way round. In the top half, with six or seven above me. In my two years of engineering, I never needed to meet any prof due to low marks. This was new for me and hence this post. The prof wanted to help each of us but his mind was on the point that we, the rock bottom don't flunk his course. Another Shock!!! Never ever before, I had to think about passing a course. Even after getting low marks, I was hoping to get a decent grade after the second quizzes and end-semesters. But, But, But, my prof was thinking how to help these poor guys. There, I stood guilty and I knew the reasons.
Since this is a critical time I would like to tell about me more later. The reasons why I screwed this one up so badly. But, all these can wait.
Its time to take some decisions and fix up deadlines so that I don't do worse in the next internals (quizzes) starting next week.
This shock was needed as I think I was going off the track and more so it came at the right time. I sincerely hope to make amends and get serious with academics. The main purpose for coming into this college was to study engineering, but that aim got lost somewhere and this is what where I stand. I didn't do badly in the other courses. I got through them studying at the last moment. But, when a prof starts thinking that you being in the bottom may flunk, then its time to rethink....
Hoping to get some sense into myself..
Signing off now,
Cheers

The Pilot

Hmmm...
People start with hi or hey or hello. But I start my first blog with this word 'Hmmm'. The reason? Reason is nowadays, everything you say is replied with Hmmm. Its becoming the most used word in the world of SMSes and IMs.
Enough of bakwaas gyaan, now lets roll out the red carpet.You may ask,"for whom?" And the answer is 'Me and only me'. Roll out the red carpet for me. Since Koustuv Roy has come to the blogging scene. A guy who wanted to start blogging 3 months ago but was too lazy to get his ass on desk and type out. Now, since I have eventually succeeded in completing this mammoth task, I would need some persistent backing up to continue with this.
To be very true, I just wanted to write about something. What is that 'something', I will figure it out soon (Sooner than 3 months I hope). But, yeah I being a total amateur would like to share some part of my 'Clueless' experiences with you all.
So, guys I will tell more about myself later. Maybe even upload my resume for the placement guys to track me down!!! (Ok, now i know you should not crack lame jokes) But whatever, there will be more of everything and anything from my side.
Signing off now...