Vent It Out

A lot has been talked and discussed about the recent incidents at IIT Madras. I won’t be delving deep into these unfortunate suicides, because I believe that these are now in the past, and no one can change it. What we can do instead, is take steps to make sure these incidents don’t happen in future.

But, the reality remains that these things will happen in the future. After all, we all are humans. Sometimes, we may just snap and take a poor decision! And, it could happen to anyone. Suicide is primarily an impulsive moment, when one just feels that the only action one can take, is to end all the sufferings. So, why does one do it? Don’t they think about their families, friends, relatives, cousins? Yes, they do! They think, but everything is overshadowed by that single suffering which triggers that suicidal emotion. In that spur of moment, people just go blank, and they take the plunge into the abyss.

There might be times in your life, when nothing is going right and everything seems dark. In that scenario, it has been seen that people keep fighting. They want to get out of that darkness. So, when does the mind shift from an emotion of struggle to an act of self-annihilation? I feel that the trigger happens when the vestigial hopes are shattered. When they see a streak of light at the end of the tunnel, their hopes increase exponentially and reach a maximum point. But, when this glimmer of light also vanishes, their minds just snap. That scene of the light vanishing into darkness just keeps repeating itself before one’s eyes, and the person just thinks that it is better to give up and get out of this darkness once and for all.

So, how the hell do we change this? More primarily, how the hell do we ensure that our near and dear ones don’t tread this path? And more importantly, how do we save ourselves from this momentary lapse of reason? No, I am not being suicidal! I am just making a point!

Incidents like these happen when the person feels that he/she can’t take anymore pressure. Many have criticized saying, “If you can’t take in the pressure, you are not worthy of being an IITian”. Many have sympathized saying, “The pressure to perform is too much to handle, and sometimes, people just cannot take it”. But, no one has told that how to handle this pressure? Who the hell says only IITians commit suicides? Only these incidents come up to the surface of national media recognition. And, what does media do? It conducts few special shows, few talk shows, and writes some editorial articles. Counselors pour in their viewpoints after the damage has been done. And, every blame is just put blankly on the system. Everyone gets united about “changing the system”. Few IIT alumni have started suggesting that increasing the number of females on IIT campuses would help. Every wants to change the system! What I feel is that the approach is altogether wrong. System will always have some flaws, some discrepancies. Even six-sigma approach has tolerance for defects in the system.

I personally feel that these incidents have to dealt personally. We need to train ourselves to start letting out the anger, pain, self-pity which we develop over the years. Suicide happens due to an impulsive decision. But, the suffering is not impulsive. The pain and remorse keeps building over a time period, like pressure keeps building in a pressure cooker.  What happens in a pressure cooker when the pressure reaches the maximum level? No, it does not go “BOOM”! It has a pressure regulator / vent pipe which releases the excess steam. We too need an internal pressure regulator in our minds. Everything can be sorted out, if people show their suffering, if people just let out that excess steam. They can let it out by pouring out everything to someone close, by crying out with their heart out or may be by doing something which keeps them happy. The venting out mechanisms depend on the person and can be anything, which makes the person feel that the weight has been lifted upon him. The main motive here is to realize that better things can happen in life. Many people even let out their frustration by breaking furniture, throwing things, etc. Even that is fine until no one is hurt in this process.

It is more of a man to cry your heart out in front of few friends than taking away your own precious life. It is better to be mocked for your emotional outburst at a later stage in life, than having no later stage in life! Many people might have different opinions, but this is what I feel. Hence, developing an intrinsic vent out mechanism is the key to overcome one’s depressions.

I am still clueless about what goes in the mind of person before self-destructing himself. And frankly, I want to remain a clueless spirit in that matter for the rest of my life!

P.S: This post does not intend to denigrate the persons involved in the recent incidents. May their souls rest in peace. I offer my deep condolences to their families and friends.