How Tech at IITM shaped me

When I entered IITM in 2008, I was awe-struck by the variety of activities that happened. Like a fresher, I tried my hand at many activities –such as playing hockey in quadrangle, participating in quizzes and building catapults in Project X competition. It was confusing at first because there was a vast expanse to choose from, but slowly I understood that tech was my calling. When I had joined Insti in 2008, I was amazed by the talk Sayan Ganguly (CoCAS) had given while introducing Shaastra and CFI. It instilled in me the hunger to learn and nudged my acumen to innovate. From there, started my tech-journey at IITM.
I have observed, participated, conducted and managed various tech events and activities at IIT Madras from a very grass-root level. What I have personally learnt from CFI, Shaastra and Tech-Soc are real-life lessons that continues to help me even after couple of years after passing out. I have listed down a few qualities or lessons that I have learnt in my Insti-tech stint. For example, something I have learnt on my tech-journey is that “Always, invest in people.” Tech at IITM has evolved because people every year for the last 7-8 years have invested in their juniors and have taught them the tricks of the trade.
There are 3 entities of Tech, which has shaped my capabilities: TechSoc, Shaastra and CFI. Each one is unique in its own sense and has provided me different avenues of learning. Getting involved in tech activities will obviously expand your horizon of building things, innovating and trouble-shooting. But, apart from that, there are more treasurable proficiencies that you will gain out of taking up a project at CFI or coordinating a competition in Shaastra or participating in an event on behalf of your beloved hostel in Tech-Soc.  Here’s a snippet of what broad life-skills does one learn from tech-activities and events at IITM:

1)     Teamwork:
This is a quality that you need most in life. There will be rough times in a project, when having a strong, dependable and knitted team will make all the difference. During Techsoc 2008-09, there were times when bots were not working properly and electronic modules were responding haywire. During Shaastra, sometimes, the events were not coming up as planned; at every step, I could vouch that the teamwork never ever faltered. The opposite is also true. In Robocon 2010, we had very hard-working and smart individuals. But, the team as a cohesive unit did not click. The team work faltered and that was the main reason we bowed out in quarters.
The lesson – “Never ever leave a fellow colleague hanging in a team”

2)     Jugaad or Out-of box thinking:
This is something that my hostel had instilled in me from the 1st year of Techsoc. The kind of shoddy bots we made could have made a Product Design guy cringe. But, the main selling point was that they worked. Sometimes, in life, you will get unrealistic deadlines from clients, from managers and you will have to turn it around! Jugaad will help you in giving ugly but working solutions in a time-crunched environment.
The lesson – “The best thing about Jugaad is that in tough situations, you get a license to just care about getting things to work and you don’t have to think about the presentation of the solution”

3)     Managing people:
This is a skill-set which B-schools teach you, but I have learnt the most about it at IIT-M. Every person needs to be good at managing people to succeed in life. Since success is a not a single-person centric and is driven by people, managing people is an utmost required skill.   Completing a work yourself is always easier than getting it done by someone else. And, that’s what you learn when you become a co-ord/core at Shaastra / Hostel TAS / a team leader in any CFI project. The main thing I have learnt from all of my managerial stints at Insti is spend time with your juniors, talk to them and build solidarity. This is what people forget the most. You can’t just give orders and expect that everything will be taken care of. You have to build trust, bonding and camaraderie with your juniors and that can happen only while discussing and solving problems together.
The lesson – “Build companionship with your sub-ordinates. It is the best way to motivate people”

4)     Brainstorm and Think Crazy:
Sometimes, when we used to get stuck at something, especially at Shaastra meetings, we used to take a small break and randomly brainstorm. We used to discuss some really crazy and improbable ideas, but the idea was to think as bat-shit crazy as possible. During one of these crazy brain-storming sessions, we decided to get few projects from CFI and few events from Shaastra and display them in front of Himalaya! And, the idea did wonders. People noticed it and we got a huge surge of Insti publicity, which we had lacked before! In life too, sometimes it is important to do crazy things to get noticed.
The lesson – “Brainstorm together and build upon crazy ideas, you don’t know what might tick”

5)     Upward Management:
Unless you become the CEO of your company, there will be managers and directors above you whom you would have to report to. If you are the CEO, imagine that your client is above you. All the time spent interacting with Dean (Students) and Co-curricular Advisor had helped me in realizing the importance of making a person understand a month’s toil in a time slot of fifteen minutes. Here, I learnt the importance of being short, succinct and to-the-point. People higher up cannot go into details, you need to help them in understanding the crux of your story in a very limited time.
The lesson – “While interacting to someone higher-up, it is essential to convey your thoughts in a concise and crisp manner”

6)     You Can Win (however bad the odds are stacked against you)
During the end-leg of Techsoc 2011, Narmad was at second position. We needed nothing short of a miracle to win, because only two major events were left: Autonomous Robotics and S-Net. I remember people telling me that Narmad couldn’t win the Tech-Soc, it was practically out of our reach. But, I – being the TAS – told my hostel juniors only one thing: “We had to win this event by a big margin.” Because we wanted to get a lead so big that even if we didn’t place in the last S-Net, we should win. We had slogged all the year round for this and it was the hostel’s dream to get the Tech-Soc back.
We decided that there is only 1 way to win the Tech-Soc trophy – we went with two hostel teams in Autonomous Robotics competition! It was a big risk because historically it had been an event where only a couple of teams had successfully completed the problem statement, but we took the risk. We started preparing very early and we sweated it out; I remember the first and second years literally toiling days and nights to get both of the bots working! It was an event laced with drama. On the D-day, in the first round, one of our bots didn’t work. Though the second bot worked great, we wanted to get the other bot working as soon as possible and win both the 1st and 2nd positions. We quickly went into trouble-shoot mode and got the first bot working (it was a minor glitch). The rest as people remember was history (sic!) and we cruised to victory. We won both the 1st and 2nd positions and we beat Tambi comprehensively to win the TechSoc 2010-11.
The lesson – “Do not believe the non-believers. If you think you can do it, charge ahead”

So, anyone who is confused that how will building a bot/RC car/contraption for Shaastra or TechSoc help him in a finance job or how will participating in FSAE, Robocon, IARC will help you in consulting, the technical skill might not. But, let me tell you that the life-skill will surely help you whatever path you take up.
These life-lessons are the most precious takeaways of my tech journey. The prizes, the certificates and the accolades might wither away, but these experiences will stay with me forever.

Cheers!

This article was written by me for Chennai 36 (IITM's student and alumni website). Here is the link -  http://chennai36.iitm.ac.in/how-tech-at-iit-m-shaped-me/

The Helicopter Man Retires!

Much has been spoken on Dhoni's retirement from tests and there is something which both the fanboys and the haters have to understand!
MS Dhoni was "one of the best" captains and "the best" wicketkeeper batsman India has ever produced. And as a cricket fan who has closely followed his career, there are a few things which need to be highlighted!
Firstly and most importantly, after Dhoni, we go back to that age when if the Sahas and Karthiks make an odd 30 or 40, we will be more than happy! But, with Dhoni at crease, we always expected more. We expected him to score a 50, score a 100, bat with tailenders, save the test match after the trademark Indian top order collapse. All that has been so ingrained in our minds that it will take some time and grit on Kohli's part to groom another Dhoni (the wicket keeper batsman). He has saved us enough tests and he has taken us out of many sticky situations in the past to prove his mettle in this field. He was not able to contribute to this part for quite some time as he was going through a long, dry spell and hence, retiring was the logical step.
Now, coming to the MS Dhoni- the captain. There are 2 sub-parts here. Dhoni the home skipper and the away skipper. The home skipper was like a lion in his den. He knew the grounds, the conditions, his team's strengths and weaknesses and stuck to the basics - make turning tracks, post big totals, bombard opposition with spin!" which worked for the team! But, the away skipper was sometimes like a deer caught in front of headlights. India's bowling never had or even has till now the tooth to take 20 wickets in Australia, South Africa and England. We haven't got a genuine away wicket taking bowler after Zaheer and that is not completely Dhoni's fault -the Ishants and Sreesanths did not click always. They had those sporadic moments of glory, but consistency eluded them! Since Dhoni understood that it will be really difficult to take 20 wickets, he changed his strategy and became very defensive. He understood that a 2-0 loss is better than 4-0 loss! But, in doing that, more often than not, he still lost away tests. His team selections were biased - keeping Rohit Sharma and Jadeja in for god knows how long!
Coming to his retirement, yes, it was odd, and a surprise/shock to all cricket fans. On one hand, fanboys will say that he did the right decision. He understood that he could not contribute more and giving Kohli the baton made perfect sense. On other hand, critics will say Dhoni abandoned his team, he was self-centric and he could have waited till the end of the series. But, one thing we are missing is a simple point - Dhoni is human, he is 33 and his body had started breaking up after the huge number of matches he has played. The logical decision is always to quit the form of cricket you are least natural into. Everyone would agree that Dhoni is a natural ODI cricketer and not a natural Test cricketer! So, quitting Tests makes sense. It is a highly impulsive, personal decision, one may or may not have been thought through by him completely.
In a nutshell, like Dada, Dhoni was a person who brought out conflicting emotions in people. He was not like Dravid and Kumble whom no body hated! Yes, like Dada, he too believed in getting his team right, even if senior team members got hurt to the point that people brandished him as an arrogant, biased captain. But, it also had another side - he was okay with failures, he kept his head cool and understood that he has Indian sport's toughest job! That was Dhoni, the test cricketer, a person who brought the tribal eastern state on cricket's national map, understood how difficult it is for small town players to make it big in Tests, changed his natural game to fit into Tests, who kept wickets for 1 and half days and then carried people's expectations of making a 100 with tailenders after a batting collapse and finally a good test captain with a knack of going defensive away with debatable actions!
Cheers to Dhoni and hope he gets us the World Cup again!

P.S. - I wrote this as a Facebook status on my timeline on New Year's Eve.

I was an AAP supporter until.............

I answered a question on Quora - What do you think is the problem with people who keep saying "I used to be an AAP supporter until..."?

The below is my answer. Basically, this post is about how I was enthusiastic about AAP and Kejriwal and lost trust before national elections. This post was written on 28th March, just before national elections started.  

*********************************************************************************************

The problem is not with the people who say this. The problem is with people who don't question AAP. 

Short answer: Because, I can't let a person run the country who has zilch experience and who could not run a government in Delhi for more than 50 days.

Long answer: This answer is a synopsis of the journey of AAP and my emotions and my trust factor associated with it. I was an AAP supporter initially with an admiration of Modi. But, after the recent events, I really feel BJP is the only real choice we have. 

Pre-Delhi Elections:

I had been an ardent supporter of AAP when they decided to fight Delhi elections! I cheered their most of the moves because they were changing how elections were fought in the country. This was their most significant difference.

I was pleasantly surprised when they won 28 seats in Delhi. I was really happy when AK took the oath at Ramlila Maidan. I was determined that AK will change the system in Delhi with what he has envisioned. 

Delhi government:

But,then came their litmus test. 

They faltered at almost every step. I was even fine then. I told myself AK and his cabinet are taking their first baby steps. Give them some space. Let him govern Delhi with a peace of mind. But, there they started showing a major drift. 

Their stances on giving free water, subsidized electricity on the cost of tax-payer's money were first signs of people-appeasement. Still, I turned a blind eye thinking it was fine because it was making an impact with the bigger picture of a people-friendly government. 

Then, came the atrocious mis-managed Jan-sabha. Kejriwal, Dude! What were you thinking? That was the first chink in the armor in bad management. Jan sabhas are not a new thing in Indian democracy. Almost every CM does it, but there's a manner to do it and AK government failed. 

Following, this the Somnath fiasco in Khirki Extn. was like getting cheap publicity. Fine, maybe, your intent was right but your method certainly wasn't. Frankly, Delhi is no Gotham and we DON'T need a Batman! And, frankly, Batman is quite the opposite. He prefers working in shadows rather than in full-blown media limelight. There, I first saw the immaturity of AK's cabinet ministers. 

But, still, I supported AK with his corruption helpline which according to me was not such a good idea (Delhi didn't elect you so that we ourselves have to conduct sting operations, but whatever!). I pacified saying at least he is trying something to weed out corruption. 

And, then AK, you sat on a dharna, which was one of the stupidest things to do! That was when I lost my confidence. There would have been better ways to handle Delhi Police. They are an egoistical bunch, but this is not how you make relations in politics and handle the state. What did you get out of it? Absolutely nothing other than sending the police officials on leave! AAP screwed it up big time at that moment. They kind-of lost the educated middle-class at that time. 

After all this came the humdrum of Jan Lokpal Bill. I frankly assumed there would be good debate on this and then we might see this actually being passed. But, you made a audacious statement of quitting if it is not passed. For God's sake, if you want to do 25 things, you don't quit if one thing gets blocked! Fine, BJP and Congress played spoilsport, joined hands and did not let you introduce the table. But, frankly,you could have come back and tabled it again after proper procedures being followed. Leaders don't abandon the ship if the ship is being threatened by pirates! He fights them tooth and nail unless one is vanquished. You resigned and you fled!

This was the final nail in the coffin of my trust on you. 

Entering National Politics:

And, then the downfall of the trust started. Your "I am above all" demeanor, "everything is run by Ambani and Adani", "Gujarat is not developed, everything is hype", all these bull-shitting tactics fall flat. C'mon, Gujaratis are not stupid. They are one of the best business minded people (even the ones in rural areas). They would not have chosen Modi for 3 times if he was not doing some things right! Give credit where it is due. 

You don't answer questions posed to you by BJP. You don't stick to your promises. You think everything wrong in the country is because of Modi! You want to make the nation believe that only 2 seats matter (Amethi and Varansi). What about the rest of 500+ seats, Mr. Kejriwal?

You haven't talked about economic policies, you haven't talked about how will you tackle inflation, you say you are going to check natural gas prices (but, no one knows how). 

Final conclusion and suggestions:

In my opinion, what you did was to very opportunistic. It is a big gamble you have played by going national. You had a good support base made and you wanted to maximize it without proving yourself. You knew if you stayed in Delhi, you would not be able to go national for another 5 years and will get sidelined like regional parties. But, my friend, you forget, Rome was not built in a day. Congress and BJP are parties who have reached the national stage after many decades of evolution. And, you know that history only remembers if you attack the front-runner. No one remembers who came third in politics. Everyone remembers the 1st and 2nd. And, hence, you have attacked Modi in every arbitrary manner possible. 

See, even I have fought elections and won; it might have been a hostel election, but the fundamentals remain same. :) You have to not only give points in your manifesto, but also say how will you implement it. And, above all, you need to show people that you can lead and show a report card of where you have delivered. The only places where I believe you delivered is RTI and the change you have brought in fighting elections (clean candidates, transparency in donations, etc). But, my friend, winning an election and actually governing are too different things. You are a great fighter, but you have miles to go in governance. And, that's where you have failed. I don't want another government who cannot govern. Our elders have done the mistake of electing Congress twice. I, being a first-time voter, won't do the mistake of voting for you and electing a government that cannot govern.

It is my humble request to AK that AAP should not be another 'secular' hypocrite, people-appeasing party. We have too many parties who fit the bill for this name-tag! Don't ruin the revolution you started.

Thanks!

The Game of Patliputra

In the last 3 days, Nitish Kumar has played a political master-stroke. He has made sure that JD(U) is not relegated in Bihar politics anytime soon and has consolidated his position in JD(U). Read on if you want to take a glimpse of the electrifying politics happening in the Hindi heartland.

After his party's dismal performance in Lok Sabha elections (2 seats out of 40), Nitish was on shaky grounds. His MLAs were almost in a revolting mood as Nitish had taken the decision to sever ties with BJP without consulting many of his MLAs. His MLAs were of the opinion that if JD(U) had fought with BJP, they could have won 40/40 seats which was frankly very, very possible as it would have been a consolidation of Pro-development Middle class + Youth + Upper castes + Dalits + Muslim vote-banks. But, since JD(U) decided to go on their own, the pro-development + upper castes vote-bank went to BJP and Dalits + Muslims  got fragmented between LJP (Paswan) and RJD-Congress. Nitish had miscalculated his political arithmetic and had committed a political blunder!

Now, it was time to strengthen his diminishing power in his own party as well as in the ever-changing landscape of Bihar politics.

As you might now, he offered his resignation from CM's post a few days back. With this move, he basically played the following 5 moves.

1) Firstly, he took the moral high ground and appeared as a man of his words. He made sure that BJP cannot question him on moral grounds. He made the people of Bihar sympathetic to his cause and showed a strong stance that he is not going to compromise his moral values for votes

2) His MLAs were hugely discontent after the election results as most were not in favor of breaking the alliance with BJP. After offering his resignation, he became a martyr figure in front of his MPs and made sure that they do not defect to BJP. He rallied his supporters behind him and shot himself into the political limelight

3) Sharad Yadav (JD(U) president) and Nitish are not the best of buddies. After Nitish put down his papers, it seemed as if Sharad Yadav was just waiting for this opportunity to take up the CM’s chair. (Remember, he lost LS elections from Madhepura and being the CM will do much good for his political career). Party MLAs almost booed off Sharad Yadav in the party meet and Nitish seemed like the one who is above all petty politics and the only one who is not power-hungry.  Nitish with this stroke made sure that Sharad Yadav understood that it is only Nitish who runs the show in JD(U) and although, Sharad Yadav  is the party president, MLAs see Nitish as their supreme leader

4) JD(U) meanwhile sent out a feeler to RJD through Sharad Yadav and kept their options open in case they need to align with Lalu to keep BJP+LJP+RLSP at bay. Though Nitish will surely re-think this option, as JD(U) and RJD joining hands is similar to Congress and BJP joining hands. But, you never know in this ever changing political landscape. The tectonic plates of Bihar politics are shifting and many new alliances and equations can come to the fore

5) And, finally, in a fitting end to this political symphony, Nitish today appointed Jitan Ram Manjhi as the next CM of Bihar. A brief background of Manjhi – A close aide of Nitish, he currently holds the SC/ST, OBS, EBC Welfare Ministry. Manjhi is a Mahadalit from the Musahar community who occupy the lowest strata of the society in the state.  So, for all practical purposes, Nitish will be pulling the strings and Manjhi will just be the Mahadalit face. Nitish gave a strong signal that he is the only one trying to uplift the EBCs and Mahadalits. Since JD(U)’s core vote-bank has  shifted to RJD and LJP, Nitish needs a new core vote-bank that he can rely upon. Hence, Nitish is laying the foundation of a new core vote-bank so that he has the numbers to take the Bihar Assembly battle single-handedly.

In a nutshell, the battle lines for the 2015 Bihar assembly election are being drawn and it is going to a hard-fought battle. Nitish has understood that he cannot underestimate either BJP-LJP or RJD-Congress in Assembly elections. If he loses power at State, it will take him another 5 years to regain the lost ground. But, there’s a silver lining for Nitish even in these gloomy days. There is something which Nitish has captured in the hearts of Biharis and that is his governance, honesty and simplicity  - During the Lok Sabha elections, the general mood on Bihar streets was: “We are going to vote for Modi at Centre, but our vote lies with Nitish for 2015.”

And, you thought that only Lannisters could play intense power battles! ;) 

5 Most Interesting Novels by Indian Authors

With the advent of Quora, I have started satisfying my hunger for writing by answering on Quora questions. But, this blog is too close to heart to give up! So, I am copying an answer which I wrote to the question: "What are some interesting novels to read?"

I have felt that the vast knowledge provided by books is largely untapped in India and people need to start reading more to appreciate their real life more. All the books that I have read have provided me with something which I never knew of. For me, books are interesting when after completing it, one feels liberated and one's horizons of imagination and clarity on reality are quadrupled. Now, coming to the main answer, there are too many interesting novels one can read. I am just focusing here on Indian and Indian-American authors so that 'desi' people can relate it more.

There are some Indian authors who have changed the art of story-telling in the Indian and the world literary landscape.

Some of my favorites Indian books are the following:

1) The Calcutta Chromosome by Amitav Ghosh

 

The book has been awarded the Arthur C Clarke award for best science-fiction novel in 1997.

The story is a heady cocktail of fact, fiction, science and mystical practices. It mixes some Hindu beliefs and modern-day scientific concepts and the story once you are into it is "UNPUTDOWNABLE". It is one of those books which does not give you all the clues and you need to think and I mean think hard to know what exactly happened in the end!

2) Train to Pakistan by Khuswant Singh

 

This is one of those books which is read widely and heavily quoted from even 57 years after it was first published.  The book depicts the partition riots between India and Pakistan in 1947 from a local foci of a village. It shows the realistic face of hardships faced by both communities, the local administrative authorities, an alien Samaritan with a backdrop of a torn love story. It paints raw human emotions at its finest. The book is still popular among literary circles because the story is applicable to even present-day situations

3) A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth

 

Firstly, one should read this book only when he/she is confident of reading a 1000+ pages book. A Suitable Boy is one of the longest books written in a single volume as it is 1349 pages in length. But, once you get into the groove of this book, it is a book which has myriad shades amalgamated into one. The book is a story of four families over a period of 18 months as a mother searches for a suitable boy to marry her daughter. The book is set in post-independence India and deals with issues like strife between Hindu and Muslims, abolition of the Zamindari system, land reforms and empowerment of Muslim women. It is a mammoth masterpiece and has won the Best Book, Commonwealth Writers Prize in 1994.

4) God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

 

The debut book by Arundhati Roy won the Booker prize in 1997. The book deals experiences of fraternal twins who are always preached the "Love of Laws" which proclaims "who should be loved, and how. And how much". The book's title aptly describes the story and tells the readers that sometimes though the big things are not in our hands; we can always take care of the small things. 

After reading this novel, I hoped Arundhati Roy to write more because this is the only novel she has written till date. 

5) Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri 

 

Now, this is not a novel but Jhumpa Lahiri's debut work is one of those books which you cherish reading. It is a book collection of exactly nine short stories detailing lives of Indians and Indian Americans who are caught between their inherited culture and   the modern-day world. The book won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 2000. The book mainly deals with relationships of different nature and different perspectives of people in the same situations.

I have tried to paint the picture of Indian literary works in a diverse way here and hence have included these diverse out-of-the box books. There are many more books by Indian authors which are worth the attention, but these 5 from my reading experience are must-read novels and would make you think more about life and it intricacies.

Medical Chronicles Part 1

I have completed my engineering. But, this post is not about how awesome my 4 years at IITM was. This is just a post I had written long before, but I hadn't published it. I would be releasing the story in parts. This is the first part.

“Swagat hai aap sab ka break ke baad iss adhbhut khel mein jise hum kehte hai KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI!”, boomed the voice of the star himself, Amitabh Bachchan.

The guy sitting opposite found himself staring blankly into the red and blue neon lights. And then the familiar male baritone sounded again, “Mere saath aaj hot seat par baithe hai Durgapur ke Mr. Sayan Roy aur wo 25 lakh rupaye jeet chuke hai.”

His heart skipped a bit; one wrong answer and he would be out with only Rs. 3,20,000. He turned to the audience stand, he could see his Mom and Dad beaming, but dangling on the edge of their seats. 

Big B propelled the game forward by asking the penultimate question; “50 lakh rupaiyon ke liye ye raha aapka agla sawaal.”

Q. Which one of the following tranformations accurately describes “Apospory”?

a. Embryo from nucleus
b. Embryo from integuement

c. Embryo from egg of an embryo sac developed directly from megaspore mother cell

d. Embryo from egg of an embryo sac developed directly from a cell nucleus

It was a tough question, but deep down he swore that he had seen the question somewhere. This was the moment of truth, if only he could crack this, nothing could stop him. He was quite confident of his eidetic memory.  In his mind, he ruffled the pages of the botany book. The term ‘Apospory’ ringed a bell, but not so loud that he would point out the right answer. He had used all the 3 lifelines; one on a question of history, one on politics and the last one on Olympics! None of these were his strong subjects.

But, this one was his childhood buddy. Biology was his life. He could have thrived on chromosomes and cancer for his whole life. But, he couldn’t believe that biology was ditching me, when he needed it the most. He murmured to himself, "Et tu Bio?"

He eliminated the first 2 options by logic, but couldn’t pick between C and D.

“Megaspore or Cell Nucleus?, he whispered, seeing the saint-like face opposite to me from the corner of my eyes, begging for some kind of help.

He only got a reassuring smile, but no answer came forward. He had to take his risks, after all that is what he had learnt till now.

“Option C”, he said, removing the cough in his throat.

“Confident? Lock kar diya jaye?”  Big B asked in his male baritone, about whether he should lock the answer.

 “Yes”, He replied.

“Computer ji, please lock option C”

He felt a sudden thrust from above, like he was caught in a whirl wind of some sort. The answer clicked in his mind now. He had made the wrong choice. It was D. But, he could not come back. It was like all his dreams were being washed, one by one.

Just then a sudden jolt woke him up. It was his room-mate, Anand. He spoke in a hurried fashion, “Wake up dude, it’s already 8.30. The exam starts at 9!” 

Rising from the Ashes

This is a post which was long overdue. My last post was in last summer and I almost forgot that I even had a paltry blog of any kind. I had predicted long back that this would happen. I always knew that I would never keep up blogging! But, somehow again, miraculously, I have the zeal back in place. 

To be honest, two things triggered this "Rise from the Ashes". One, an Indian victory in cricket! Yes, that too can happen! You, read it right! India, after 16 matches finally won an International match! I know, its not a big deal. It was a T20 after all. But, sometimes, it is important to come back to winning ways. As Anita Bhogle and Harsha Bhogle point out in their book "The Winning Way", winning is a habit which is inculcated by winning teams. I remember a cricket match described in the same book, pertaining to this same phenomenon. It was a test match in 2006 between Aussies and Bangladesh. Bangladesh was staring into victory because Australia were tottering at 145/6 at end of Day 2 after Bangladesh scored 427. But, then Gilchrist, led from the front and scored a marvelous century. Still, the odds were in favor of Bangladesh. And, after that century of Gilchrist, Bangladesh just collapsed like a house of cards in their second innings. It was disastrous and Australia won the match by 3 wickets. This happened because when you lose strings of matches, you don't know how to react when you are in a winning position. Hence, the importance is rise from the ashes. Rather, to be precise, it is to know how to rise from the ashes. To be mathematically sound (which I am not!), India had a good probability to win one game out of 17 matches! But, the important thing is they grabbed it with both hands, when it arrived.    

The second thing today which taught me the importance of rising from the ashes is an interactive lecture by Sunil Handa. He is an IIM-A professor. You can read about him in the chapter called "The Alchemist" is Rashmi Bansal's Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish. In short, he is a successful entrepreneur who gives entrepreneurial motivation and lectures to students. His mantra in life is simple: "Fight, Fall down, Get up, Fight, Fall down. Get up, Fight......." For him, his 7th idea struck gold. So, he rose from the ashes 7 times before taking a plunge into the limitless sky. You can savour the sweetness of success only if you have worked your ass off! You can't just sit around waiting for the right opportunity. You need to keep fighting till you win!
Something which I feel is most important in keeping the fighting spirit going is Perseverance. In sports, they call it "stamina". If you would have seen the recently concluded Australian Open final, you would have understood what stamina actually means! If there was one parameter in which Djokovic was way ahead of Nadal, it was STAMINA! In a high-octane tennis grand slam final, which lasted almost a record 6 hours, it is safe to say that the only thing which drove it Djoker's way was his perseverance. It is similar in entrepreneurship, as Mr. Handa points out. You need to "Be Stubborn". Yes, you need to be nagging wife to be a good entrepreneur! 

For me, this lecture was more about knowing things which one always knows. Its all common sense, but again in the complexities of life, the simplicity gets lost somewhere. Hence, I would just like to jot down a few points which I felt that it would help me in life, not only in entrepreneurship.

1. Fight for yourself:  In life, you would only fight for things which belong to you. No one else would come to fight your war because its your money, your company, your baby. Your life is at stake and hence it is logical that you would do anything to win the war. No one is going to play Jesus, so stand for yourself.
2. Inspire Yourself: You are your own teacher. Why is it that in a class of 100, only 1 or 2 people turn their start ups into successful companies. The teaching is same for everybody. It is on the concerned person how he actually inspires himself by the sermons!  Even if you are down, keep inspiring yourself. Keep looking at the positive side.
3. Have Faith: If you keep running in the race, there is good enough probability that you would strike gold. Just have faith in yourself, your idea, your belief, your strengths. No one knows you better than you yourself. Have faith on your winning spirit.
4. Carve your own path: You would not learn on how to run your own company from other's experiences. Every one carves their own path. That is law of nature. So, keep experimenting, keep an open mind, keep questioning others and steadily move about carving your own path. You have to solve your problems on your own. People can advice, suggest, give consultations. But, it is you who needs to solve it!
5. Be Inquisitive: You need to ask questions, if you want to make it big. You won't get the answers immediately, you would need to strive for it. Keep questioning status-quo, else you would never attain innovation.    
6. Be Stubborn: You need to act like a persistent kind to become a successful entrepreneur. You need to be have that tenacity to stay steadfast when there is a strong wind on your way. You need to stick to your words, your vision, your dream how much ever people scorn at you. Because, one day, that contempt would turn into solid respect.
7. Passion doesn't come on its own: People spend their lives searching for their passion. But, in reality, they don't actually search. They just sit there in their normal vicious lives and keep waiting for their passion to arrive at their doorsteps one fine day. That's not gonna happen, mate! So, its time you pick your lazy ass up and start working. You don' find passion; you develop passion! And, that would happen only if you start something! 
8. If you don't know something, Learn it: This is one of the best advices I have ever got in recent time. In every strata of life, people keep complaining, "I don't know about this. How will I do it?" The answer is simple. Learn it! Yes, there is no other way. If you have no freaking clue about something, you need to learn about it!
9. Invest in people: After a start up takes off, the most important thing is people. Learn a bitter truth. You would never ever get the best people for your company. Because, the best people are already working in bigger companies with fatter salaries. So, you need to take something raw and then make an asset out of it. You need to shower love, affection and trust on these people. Because, then they would remain loyal to you. There would be a few people, who would not change even after 3-4 years. But, there would a few people, who would stay close to you and multiply your turnover multiple times! 
10. Lose the safety net: Mr. Handa's logic was simple. If you feel that your value is worth a lakh per month, then stick to your 'safe' job. But, if you feel that no one can put a price on you, then lose the safety net immediately. Having the IIT / IIM tag does not guarantee safety. People can be sacked anytime. According to Mr. Handa, the safest job is in your own company. 

I know that most of you won't reach till the end of this post. Frankly, even I would not have. I have written this for myself more than anybody else. Sometimes, when I am down, when I feel clean bowled, be it any situation, I would just read this post and know that you need to be a phoenix to rise from the ashes! As of now, I can just hope that my blog has finally risen after such a long hiatus! 

Vent It Out

A lot has been talked and discussed about the recent incidents at IIT Madras. I won’t be delving deep into these unfortunate suicides, because I believe that these are now in the past, and no one can change it. What we can do instead, is take steps to make sure these incidents don’t happen in future.

But, the reality remains that these things will happen in the future. After all, we all are humans. Sometimes, we may just snap and take a poor decision! And, it could happen to anyone. Suicide is primarily an impulsive moment, when one just feels that the only action one can take, is to end all the sufferings. So, why does one do it? Don’t they think about their families, friends, relatives, cousins? Yes, they do! They think, but everything is overshadowed by that single suffering which triggers that suicidal emotion. In that spur of moment, people just go blank, and they take the plunge into the abyss.

There might be times in your life, when nothing is going right and everything seems dark. In that scenario, it has been seen that people keep fighting. They want to get out of that darkness. So, when does the mind shift from an emotion of struggle to an act of self-annihilation? I feel that the trigger happens when the vestigial hopes are shattered. When they see a streak of light at the end of the tunnel, their hopes increase exponentially and reach a maximum point. But, when this glimmer of light also vanishes, their minds just snap. That scene of the light vanishing into darkness just keeps repeating itself before one’s eyes, and the person just thinks that it is better to give up and get out of this darkness once and for all.

So, how the hell do we change this? More primarily, how the hell do we ensure that our near and dear ones don’t tread this path? And more importantly, how do we save ourselves from this momentary lapse of reason? No, I am not being suicidal! I am just making a point!

Incidents like these happen when the person feels that he/she can’t take anymore pressure. Many have criticized saying, “If you can’t take in the pressure, you are not worthy of being an IITian”. Many have sympathized saying, “The pressure to perform is too much to handle, and sometimes, people just cannot take it”. But, no one has told that how to handle this pressure? Who the hell says only IITians commit suicides? Only these incidents come up to the surface of national media recognition. And, what does media do? It conducts few special shows, few talk shows, and writes some editorial articles. Counselors pour in their viewpoints after the damage has been done. And, every blame is just put blankly on the system. Everyone gets united about “changing the system”. Few IIT alumni have started suggesting that increasing the number of females on IIT campuses would help. Every wants to change the system! What I feel is that the approach is altogether wrong. System will always have some flaws, some discrepancies. Even six-sigma approach has tolerance for defects in the system.

I personally feel that these incidents have to dealt personally. We need to train ourselves to start letting out the anger, pain, self-pity which we develop over the years. Suicide happens due to an impulsive decision. But, the suffering is not impulsive. The pain and remorse keeps building over a time period, like pressure keeps building in a pressure cooker.  What happens in a pressure cooker when the pressure reaches the maximum level? No, it does not go “BOOM”! It has a pressure regulator / vent pipe which releases the excess steam. We too need an internal pressure regulator in our minds. Everything can be sorted out, if people show their suffering, if people just let out that excess steam. They can let it out by pouring out everything to someone close, by crying out with their heart out or may be by doing something which keeps them happy. The venting out mechanisms depend on the person and can be anything, which makes the person feel that the weight has been lifted upon him. The main motive here is to realize that better things can happen in life. Many people even let out their frustration by breaking furniture, throwing things, etc. Even that is fine until no one is hurt in this process.

It is more of a man to cry your heart out in front of few friends than taking away your own precious life. It is better to be mocked for your emotional outburst at a later stage in life, than having no later stage in life! Many people might have different opinions, but this is what I feel. Hence, developing an intrinsic vent out mechanism is the key to overcome one’s depressions.

I am still clueless about what goes in the mind of person before self-destructing himself. And frankly, I want to remain a clueless spirit in that matter for the rest of my life!

P.S: This post does not intend to denigrate the persons involved in the recent incidents. May their souls rest in peace. I offer my deep condolences to their families and friends.

If I Knew the FUTURE

It seldom happens that when you watch a sci-fi flick, you kind of get sucked into the whole idea of aliens, parallel universes and time travel. And, so it happened with me. I was just thinking about the "Time Machine" and for a fleeting second, one question crossed my mind; "What if I knew the Future?". What kind of effect will it have on me and whether knowing the future will be actually good or will it be just a bad omen? Juxtaposed with these questions, I wrote this poem. What I personally feel is that life should be lived in the present, neither in past nor in future.

IF I KNEW THE FUTURE

Life is a like running clock.
But with surprises and shocks,
You can’t predict the next minute,
Nor to the future, can you commute.

But, if the future was known to me,
And I could alter anything, let it be.
Would that be the ultimate boon?
Or a horrid curse like a menacing goon?

If I saw a future engulfed with darkness,
Would in a delirium, I go, with madness?
Or call for actions to set the present right?
Thence making everything crystals in plain sight.

If I saw a halcyon future sloshed with success,
Would I become complacent, seeing all the excess?
Or would I strive hardest to achieve the symphony?
Like a consummate Beethoven after the harmony.

At times, I wonder if Notradamus foresaw the future
Or were his prognoses like weatherman in a caricature?
Did he try to change the present course of history?
Or did he just lay back and start penning a great story?

If knowing the future gave bitter insomnia?
Or perhaps slowly inducted in paramnesia?
Innumerable questions cross my nous,
Countless doubts mired in an obscure cross.

But, above all, life would become insipid,
For all surprises and shocks would be pushed off the lid,
Gone would be life’s every quest, every adventure,
If somehow, just somehow, I got to know the future!

In HIGH Spirits

I wrote this poem around 3 weeks ago, but I did not post this on the blog, only because I thought that the mood wasn't right. Tonight, after completing a tedious 13 page assignment on "Spray Forming", a metallurgical process, it felt right to post this poem on the blog. I am hell tired and right now, I am looking forward to the next day to loosen up my entangled nerves. So, the setting is almost perfect. The poem is titled "In HIGH Spirits" and it captures the emotions when you enjoy a drink after a day of hard work.

IN HIGH SPIRITS

A long day and parched lips,

Mind shattered in shredded strips,

Longing for the colourless drink;

A world unravels in a blink.

The feeling is beyond any curse;

Brain becomes numb in a pulse. 

A new perspective, profound;

Not a single buzz or sound.

The deepest secrets come out,

Emotions cleared from fog of doubt,

Thence, the soul becomes feather light;

Like a hummingbird in its maiden flight.

A pitcher of Long Island, cold;

New virgin dimensions unfold,

On an altitude of twenty storey,

Sixth sense augmented by Bloody Mary.

Bygone memories rewind in a flash,

Success and failure stacked in a stash.

Myriad shades explored in vodka shots, 

The mind begins to connect the dots.

Let your psyche run wild;

As if a canvass painted by a child.

Leave all your worries behind,

Since it is your turn to unwind.

*CHEERS!!!*

Phoenix

It has been quite some time since my last post. More than 3 months have passed since I last wrote. The 5th semester has started and there have been a lot of new things happening. There have been many incidents worth writing, but because of some constraint or other, those posts did not materialize.
This time, I have come up with something different. It is my first attempt at poetry. The poem is titled 'Phoenix', and is about one's determination to rise from a failure.
I wrote this poem in the class, after getting screwed in a quiz. Though, its not a new feeling of getting royally screwed in quizzes, but maybe the build up of average performance in all the previous quizzes just got to me and I had to let it off.

So, here is the poem.

PHOENIX

A story unsaid,
A page unread,
At the hind of my sight,
Memories come to light.

Life became a bloody witch,
Took all desires away from my reach
Cornered in a vicious loop,
Hopes were left to a merciless stoop

Deserted by Lady Luck in a deep abyss,
Dreams in the boulevard became amiss
A cloud of darkness dwelt upon
The nectar of life was long gone.

I closed my eyes in disdain
But, saw a ray at end of a lane
There, I found a new 'ME'
Full of hope, warmth and glee

Past for me was a plight
But, darkness within has tasted a new light
On the pyre which had heard my cries,
The beast would now rise.

Out from the inferno strain,
A charred Phoenix born again
Feel its pulse, Feel its heat
It would live life in every beat.


I would be writing soon and would try to give all of you something refreshing and new to chew on for days.
But, as far this post is concerned, it is about Phoenix, my first poem....
If you want to share your views / comments, then send your bouquets and brickbats by leaving a comment on the post...

Adios

DudeGiri!!!

Sometimes, one feels that things and people have changed around him. But, most of the times, we ourselves change a lot. One of the most drastic changes come after College. It totally transforms every one of us. We experiment with many things, fail some, fall prey to some, loathe some and fall in love with a few. Change is a law of nature and Change is constant!!!

But, some guys start thinking themselves rock stars by posing in pics with a guitar, though they don't even know how to hold it, forget about playing it!!! They post pics of anything and everything, feeling that it gives a debonair touch to their facebook and orkut profiles. Most of this "DudeGiri" is exhibited online in chats, scraps and profiles.

But for a typical IITian, the change is too large because Kinematics and Magnetics used to be playing ground before, but after passing through JEE, people let their hair down. It is one thing to develop your personality and it is a completely diametric and idiotic thing to act like smooth talking dudes with virtual cool facebook profiles.

Life changes like quicksilver. In 2 years, most of us have changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my friends have changed so much after going to college that it now doesn’t even feel that we were friends before and that I knew them at all. I know it’s a great feeling to show off but sometimes showing it off like you are the only dude in this whole world makes you look a total dud.

Most of these “I am the only DUDE” attitude comes after college. It feels funny when you see one of the earlier greatest nerds in the school showing off in every possible manner and making a complete idiot of him. 

I remember what it was like for most of us when we were preparing for JEE.

In schools, we had declared our teachers as useless as they could not solve Irodov or the innumerable problem sheets given by our coaching institutes. So, we spent most of the time bugging the teachers. Most of the evenings were spent in coaching institutes, where we slogged through continuously. In school, girls were very evidently present, from their sudden shrieks of untimely laughter and chuckles, but one had to control the high testosterone levels if he wanted to keep the IIT dreamboat afloat. No prejudice against the fairer sex as we just love them but pretty faces are not the best inspiration when solving Calculus or brooding over Electrostatics. They may be the best for fuelling imagination when writing novels, composing songs, poems and while painting. But, it is certain enough that Mascara and Mechanics don’t mix well like immiscible liquids. So, even if any guy liked a gal, he would not commit to it, otherwise there’s 99% chance of him screwing up the ARMAGEDDON, the all important IIT JEE .

It then comes to the D- day (2 months after the V-Day, most of us were mugging even on that day!!!) and it gets narrowed down to 6 hours of unmatched concentration. Some pass the litmus test; some miss it by the hair. In the end, mostly the ones who could control their androgen for a record 2 years go through.

And then everything changes at a lightning speed after entering these esteemed institutions of national importance.

The nerds try to become smooth talking wannabes overnight and fail miserably in doing so. Their facebook page cries it aloud “Single” and it reads “Interested in: Dating, Friendship”. All of these have profile pictures in all weird angles to make them look suave. They end up exaggerating it making a joke of themselves. The male to female ratio in IITs is disastrous and the chances of finding a single good-looking girl in IIT is worse than that of finding a tiger in the Sariska forest or even worse than that of finding Ganges in Thar desert !!! So, these poor guys are left with no choice but to start dating on the social networking sites.  Every guy starts posing with a guitar in his hand with expressions as if taken straight from a live music rock concert. They even start using useless applications on facebook like “Who’s your Lover of day?” and “Who’s your friend of the day. These applications give them a chance to talk to the girl whom the application chooses randomly. So, basically in the virtual world, these applications act like cheesy one liner which desperate losers use as their opening line. The friend list of most of the IITians depicts a mirror image of their situation in IIT with the skewed sex ratio. Even in this virtual world, only 10% of the some 400+ friends are girls.

The love deprived, grade impoverished start smoking cigarettes to cover their lousy love life or because they are fed up off the IIT pressure. Some smoke out of frustration, some smoke to socialise, some smoke to cool off their nerves and take them to an instant high. But, some dumbasses smoke because they think smoking is KEWL (Yeah, Most of these wannabe dudes even spell COOL as KEWL!!!). They smoke cigarettes like they are themselves a blast furnace inside. I don’t have any problem with anyone smoking a cig. It is your life and why in the world should I give a damn. I am not Anubamani Ramadoss to take up such moral responsibility. I just have problem with people who think that the guys who don’t smoke cigs are UNKOOL. I seriously doubt their quotient of KOOLNESS, but still for the record: If you can kick 30 cig butts in a day doesn’t mean the other person can’t. It merely means that the other person doesn’t want to die of Bronchitis or Lung Cancer. It is more of a man to say “NO” to smoking, rather than roasting yourself to ‘Classic Mild’, ‘Regular’ and ‘Gold Flake’.

After the frequent online proposals and their instant rejections, the great young minds turn to one single resort: BOOZE. It is better than a girlfriend because it gives you a greater high, never ditches you, never bothers you with endless questions, and you can then sleep like a log. There’s always a negative shade. If you can’t hold your drink, you would mostly end up waking up in your own vomit. But, if you can hold your alcohol, then Vodka becomes your lady love and Pink Floyd gives the perfect ambience for a romantic candle-light dinner with this lady love! Booze becomes a mandatory routine after each quiz/midsem/endsem gets over. I have encountered incessant occurrences of guys serenading “Magic Moments” and “Royal Challenge” when the minds are as blank as that of a blonde. Sometimes, one needs to resort to these to close the conscious mind and feel the subconscious mind. As profound it may seem, most people start throwing up all over the corridor and end having a awful hangover.

We all have transformed in a couple of years, but we should remember the most important thing that our essence should never change, whatever be the situation...

 

Idiot Quadrangle

I was watching the ongoing FIFA world cup when Germany drubbed Australia 4-0. I was surfing through the channels when I realised that the Idiot Quadrangle (How can you tell a 32” LCD screen a box?) has really spiralled up in quantity and has exponentially declined in quality. I was thinking who really can watch channels like India TV,India News, Real TV and the still continuing saas bahu sagas on the prime channels Zee, Sony, Star Plus, and lately Colors and Imagine. It is nauseating to surf all the 225 channels and get nothing to watch. The best I could get was repeat shows of F.R.I.E.N.D.S on Zee Café. I realized that here are only 3 categories of entertainment in Hindi segment. But, still I would like to share this experience of mine with you and the broad classification I did.

The first segment is “You think only you can abuse, B!&@h!!!”. It’s the saga of the Innumerable reality shows in which people sing, dance, abuse, cry and faint and sometimes these all happen at the same time!!! The category which started with Indian Idol and Roadies as flagship shows has now only contestants bitching each other and backbiting. These reality shows have 75% of their content dedicated to “Censor Board”. It can rightly be renamed as the “P.P.P” category as half of the time, the dialogue statements are intercepted with censors. It’s like this: You pee (read B*&%h), You pee pee (read F^&*%&), Pee pee pee (More F words with auxiliaries attached!!!). Also, the age group doesn’t matter now. Toddlers who have just time started growing real teeth have started grabbing limelight. There used to be a time not so long ago, only some 5-6 years ago when being a kid of 8 years was just about family, school and friends. But, now it’s about giving 10 on 10 performances, judges drawing long faces when it’s a 9 on 10 performance… One word for the judges:- (Could you good-for-nothing fellas ever give such performances in your childhood??? I bet you were still wetting your bed at night…). It is now about facing eliminations every week, crying your heart out, parents then accusing and rebuking the show producers and judges of foul play. Every failed personality from Chunky Pandeys to Shilpa Shettys to Baichung Bhutias has become a judge on reality show and has an opinion about things which they don’t even have a freaking idea. Everyone wants his 2 minute stardom as if someone is making 2 minute Maggi noodles(Btw, someone should sue Maggi because even the noodles don’t get cooked in 2 minutes).  There is now a reality show in which ultra modern hot chick battle it out(abuse, bitch and catfight) to survive in the villages among buffaloes and their shit. The roadies in its earlier editions used to be good, but it suddenly became cool for girls to hurl “Bitch!!! You suck..” at each other and it became cool for guys to gay themselves up. Only one word for this category-“Get real, dumbasses”.

The next category is the “Kachhda” category. It’s the category which has given employement to every arts graduate who didn’t have a job. If you are a guy and can speak in a tone which sounds like shrieking of monkeys, then you are in… If you are a girl and you do your make up right, you are in. It’s the category which has grown by leaps by bounds. I am talking about Media, specifically electronic media and specifically Television News channels. Every news is a breaking news, whether it is a dog found dead on the footpath or a movie star talking about his favourite cologne(or co****), no one cares what’s there in news. You present it with a good looking 22 year old who is smooth speaking but doesn’t have a clue about what she is speaking and BANG,,, who have NEWS!!! No news of country’s importance is reported. Now, news channels distort each statement made by celebrities and they do 30 minutes special episodes on that. Just the earlier day, some statement of Abhishek Bachchan was completely distorted and presented in a manner which showed that he was upset with Vivek Oberoi. And, this was screened repeatedly in a show named “Meri Biwi Se door raho”!!! Everything gets a larger than life image, whether it’s a struggling model who can’t speak Hindi,a comedian who is not comic by any standards and tries to crack each joke in a gay manner, a politician who can’t stand Muslims or even a monkey which can give birth to 9 babies at one time (The last sounds the most interesting, trust me). The channels just want bytes, they don’t give a damn about what. One word for them-“BYTE ME”.

And, now comes the last but the strongest, the oldest and still the most thriving category. It’s the “Glycerine category”. I Cry, You Cry, We all Cry!!! The plot remains almost the same in all of these. There are many similarities among all these saas bahu sagas. Anyway, now its not only saas bahu. Now, its saas-bahu-devrani-jethani-mausi-mami-bhabhi and the list goes on.

1.       All the Glycerine category serials have woman centric plots. Everything goes around women, whether its seducing, backbiting, bitching, hatching, plotting, murdering , kidnapping, cheating. The men in the serial are like puppet dolls. They are just there to fill screen space, they just have dialogues like, “Kya?”, “haan”, “na”, “Tum!!!”. That’s all they have to do.

2.       Next is all these stories are shot and based in villages or smaller towns. It is suddenly cooler to be from Agra, Mathura, Ajmer and Jodhpur. The big metros can take a backseat, since either the dialect is Marwari, Bhojpuri or Awadhi.

3.       The third similarity is there’s always a “Ghar ka bhedi Lanka dhahe”. There is always a person in the family who has plans to kill or injure the main protagonist.

4.       There is no doubt some kind of will or treasure or property or company involved in the family feud: “Money hai to Honey hai!”.

5.       Pregnancy in the plot always brings doom to the family. It is never happy to see a baby arriving. There has to be some kidnapping, some melodrama of next heir, illegal child issues, some miscarriage. No one cares about the baby, not even the screen mother. Each character is involved in the hotch-potch around the baby.

6.       All of the serials have exotic sets,it is like every family has some palace to live in. All women even sleep in designer saris, have heavy jewellery in each scene, have to look like plastic dolls in each scene.

7.       There has to be some sort of extra marital affairs to create new twists. Whenever the story becomes far stretched like elastic which generally happens after the first month, they throw an extra marital affair to spice things up. It always generates a new villian with a devilish background score to him/her.

8.       There’s always a “Aha! I got You” moment, when the female protagonist catches the villain red handed and reveals in front of everyone who were duped by the villian.

9.       Some sort of electronic proof is always there to stand testimony to this “Aha! I got You” moment. Some MMS, SMS, video, phone recording.

10.   Lastly, every crucial scene has extensive camerawork. The close ups are shown in every direction possible. The faces come like, from right, then from left, from top and from bottom. The faces freeze and turn black and white. And it is always accompanied by a typical background score “Ta!Duh!” . It is similar to what happens when a newbie starts making powerpoint presentations and adds custom animation to each slide with custom sounds like “applause” , “camera shutter” and “breaking glass” coming in background.

One word for this segment:- “Ye bacchha mera nahi hai!!!”

I guess I have made my point crystal clear. There is another small category too under the tiltle ‘Miscellaneous’ and that’s what I prefer nowadays on TV. But, I will stick to writing about the big 3 and not elaborate on the ‘Misc’ since it has already become a long post.

I am still clueless guys!!! Help me out….

The Wedding Crashers

10th of June started as a regular day. It was a Thursday and most importantly a weekday, so I had to pull myself out of deep slumber, or rather had to be pulled out, at 7 am. I had to rush to the station to catch the 8 am passenger train which would take me to a small town, called Muri located on the banks of Subarnarekha river lying on the border of Jharkhand and West Bengal. The place has a beauty of its own because it is bounded by small hillocks on all sides. Also, the place has a bridge which stands testimony to the plight of government in Jharkhand. The bridge is over the river Subarnarekha, which has dried to a small millimetre width stream of water. The bridge connects Jharkhand with Bengal. One half of the bridge which lies in Bengal is made of concrete and is newly constructed. The other half lies in Jharkhand and is still made of tin and iron scraps from the yesteryears. It has not been renovated since the 50s and the Jharkhand administration doesn’t even give a damn about it though it is one of the main routes connecting Bengal. Why will it give a damn? It has better work to do. Its politicians are mostly interested in the tug-of-war for the position of official leech who can suck the most blood from the state. Who can pull off a greater scam is the only thing on their mind.
Anyway, I guess I got swept by the emotion of neglect and corruption in the state. This is not a post about the rascals. This is about 3 characters- My mom, my dad and me. I would rather call 3 idiots(Sorry Mom & Dad, but even you won’t argue with me that we didn’t come out as fools on this day). So, where was I??? Hmmm. After learning how Alumina hydrate gets calcined at my summer intern in Hindalco, I came back to home by 7 pm. Dad was already home which was unusual, since he never comes back from office before 8 pm. I was at once ordered by Mom to get ready. I replied, “For what?”. Mom answered, “Didn’t I tell you that we have to attend a wedding reception of son of your dad’s colleague?”. I replied in negative. She told me, “I have told you atleast 10 times before, but you hardly remember a thing. Do you even care to listen?”. Most guys or girls of my age would know that by this age its of no use arguing to the Sonia Gandhi of household. If argued upon, you would end up just like Shashi Tharoor who couldn’t control his twittering mouth. I just tried to hold up the last flag of protest saying that I didn’t know anyone at the wedding and that I would get bored as hell, but all in vain.
I went to take a bath after the hot and humid journey and was ready by around 7.30 pm. But, as is always the case with ladies, they would take atleast 2 hours to dress up. And trust me, the dressing time doesn’t decline with age. It’s the same with every sister, friend, aunt, cousin of mine. All the ladies would take atleast 30 mins to decide the dress. I don’t think guys even take that long to decide what they are going to wear in their own wedding!!! But, that’s not all. The fairer sex would ask someone in vicinity that which dress would suit them better, as if the person would care. The truth is however that by that time the ladies have zeroed upon the dress, but they just need to get someone’s approval to go ahead with it. If you choose the dress which they haven’t picked, you would find a small frown forming on their make-up laden face.Atlast,by hook or crook, they would force you to pick the dress chosen by them and will get falsely satisfied on their own choice. Then half an hour goes for matching jewellery, half an hour for some damn accessories and make up, and the last half hour for dressing up. After that, all of them have a final glance of satisfacton in the mirror as if God himself was at work. I firmly believe God would have committed suicides so many times after seeing his gifted natural beauty distorted with artificial chemicals and cosmetics and being transformed into such a ghastly figure, that by now if some woman goes out without any make up God gets a jolt of surprise and thinks, “Is it some new make-up Lakme has come up with?”
I guess today I am deviating from the topic too much, only because these are topics on which one can go on and on. So, by 9 pm, we leave for the wedding with the gift on which was written “ Best Wishes To Noopur and Saibal From K.P.Roy & Family”. The venue was written “MECON hall” on the invitation card. We knew only one MECON hall in Ranchi, so Dad thought it won’t be necessary to contact his dear colleague enquiring about the venue. We reached the place in some 15 minutes and went inside the reception hall.There was no nameboard outside showing the names of the bride and the groom. My parents proceeded to the reception stage where the bride and the groom were standing while I preferred to stay back in the seating area. They all smiled and shook hands and then Mom handed over the wedding gift and the bride accepted with a huge grin. I am sure her face muscles would get cramps after the all time smiling exercise undertaken at the reception. The photographers requested for a photograph and all four of them stood smiling side by side as if they had known each other for decades. When my parents were returning to the place I sat, my dad looked around in search of his colleague but couldn’t find him or any of his colleagues. I suggested that its already 9.30, so either most of them would have left or they would be in the main dining area.
We advanced to the snacks/starters area, and helped ourselves with some snacks and starters. But, there was no one to be seen from dad’s office. My dad’s colleague is a Bengali, so we expected some Bengalis around. But, we could only hear Hindi and some Marwari being spoken. Dad felt suspicious because there was not a single soul whom we knew. Then, Mom transformed into Sherlock Holmes and made a startling revelation that the groom’s mother had told my mom that the groom was rather tall, atleast 6 feet. But, the groom with whom my parents had shared photospace with their Close-Up smile was rather short. We advanced to the main dining area, and to our disappointment saw that the whole wedding was a Marwari wedding and there was no one whom my parents knew. We had obviously made a huge mistake, we had come to some other reception, had even gifted the couple and my dear parents had themselves photographed with complete strangers. Then I realised that what the Indian weddings have become. No one knows anyone , but still smile as if they are long lost relatives. I suggested that we just have dinner here itself as not a soul would care and mainly because I was dying of hunger. But, my parents still had their ideals intact. For them, it would have been shameful. For me, the only difference between both weddings was the change in cuisine, since I didn’t know anyone in both weddings. We followed a hasty retreat from the place and my dad asked a passerby about where was MECON community hall situated. He answered that it was on the next right turn and that this was MECON reception hall. A mistaken identity of place can screw your whole evening.
At that instant, my eyes went to a small rectangular LED screen, similar to the ones found in railway stations. The LED was displaying a moving message, “Thank You for coming. AtoZ caterers.” And then came the final stamp on your idiocracy. The LED displayed “Welcome to reception of Rajeev with Alka”, which solved the mystery and raised the curtains from this mistaken identity crisis of ours.
The story doesn’t end here. After this, Dad suggested that we just give the concerned Bengali couple,cash as Aashirwaad since their gift was already given to the mistaken Marwari couple and obviously we were not going to ask them to return it. Hence, I have to go in search of a stationery shop at 9.45 at night to buy an envelope.Now, I don’t think anything like this has happened to any of you before. But, I swear you just want to get out of this as soon as possible when you get to know what fauxpas you have committed. Also, you would never find the shop you want at the most crucial time.We found everything from tailoring shop to grocrery shop to mobile recharge to medicals to even cycle repairing shop. But, it was not before some 15 minutes search of the colony that we found a small stationery shop that was going to get closed. At least, God favoured us here because we were just in nick of time. So, Dad slid some cash into the envelope and then we proceeded to the right destination. There we rechecked 3 times before entering and asked 2 passers-by that whether we were at the right wedding or not.
So, in nutshell guys,

• Recheck the venue before going to any reception/wedding/house-warming or any social gathering of this genre.
• Firstly, meet the person who has invited you rather than rushing to part away with the gift.
• Carry extra cash and extra envelopes with you in case of emergency.
• Check for the nameboard or signpost outside the venue.
• Lastly, Don’t write the name of the recipent of the gift. I still wonder what will the mistaken couple (Rajeev & Alka) think when they see the giftcard shouting Noopur & Saibal in bright, red calligraphic letters.
• And if you fail miserably in all of the above, just have your dinner silently in the wrong ceremony and then steathily get out of sight before someone spots you!!!