Each one of us has special memories as a kid. It is basically accompanied with lots of loud cries, incessant tantrums and scolding. But, still its one time of life when you did not have to worry about the world and life was simple.
Few will disagree with me that they did not have a fascination for trains when they were kid. And like most of these Anytime “Poo and Pee Producing” Machines(APM’s), even I was hell bent on getting one of these trains to our home.
I guess it was one of my first journeys on this enthralling invention of James Watt that I had undertaken to see my relatives in Patna. I was accompanied by my mom, dad and my elder sister who is around 7 years older to me and hence was in mid school. On the other hand, I was in pre-nursery and on that night was debating with my dad that an Elephant is stronger than a Tiger and hence can’t be defeated as my father had tried to cook up some African Safari story to make me go to sleep. But, as is evident from my case above that I could not swallow this underestimation of elephant’s strength and as a result of which my dad had to replace the elephant with a jackal after his futile attempts at making me sleep. After enjoying my 8 hours of sleep, I was considering the train as a nice alternate home as it had no finger wagging teachers and no semi-Medusa like principal whom most of the infant crying specimens never dared to look into eye. However, when we had almost reached our destination, my mom broke my daydreaming and brought forward this stark reality that I had to go back to school and we are in this train only for half an hour more.
And as you can guess, I immediately resorted to the golden last option “The incessant sobbing and loud crying”. This is only what 3-4 year olds can do and it generally works well for attaining short time goals. My mom thought I was hungry, as most parent think when kids cry. So, my boohooing rewarded me in form of a Cadbury Dairy Milk and I was more than happy to go to school afterwards. But, some drama of mine was still left and that came out in form of me wanting to take this train to our home and then wanting to use it as a ride to go to school. When my dad reminded me of the Fiat Padmini we had at home, I came out with the agreement that the Padmini had no toilets and the train had. Also, we can sleep in the train and not in the car. You can see that I was generally good at coming up with reasons which had no counter argument and I can tell you that I am still good at that. Anyway, my dad told me that the train did not belong to us and we cannot take it home. But, I think I did not receive his statement well because I responded with the golden resort again. This time, I was just distracted with another story of some tiger’s heroics. I guess it was one of the topics with which you can distract kids who are dumb enough to think that a train could be used as ride for going to school.
After successfully parting from the train which was miraculously just 1 hour late and not one day late, we four proceeded to our relatives’ home in Patna. I was too happy to meet my cousins, both elder sisters, one 7 years older and the other 5 years older and this happiness was mostly derived out of the Uncle Chipps packet they gave me (Lays and Kurkure had not arrived, guys). I may sound like a kid whose liking and love for others were based on the presents they gave, but what do you expect more from a 3 year old who can’t even spell “LOVE” .My life revolved on toys, cars, chocolates , stories and playing with the other good-for -nothing devils. To top it all, my mornings generally kick-started with using my tear glands more than any other organ of the body since I had to go to the structure of brick and concrete, my parents referred to as “School”. I just hated going to school since it looked more like a prison than a second home. Also, I think I did that just to attract more attention towards myself than my sister. Yeah, I agree I was a self centred, selfish piece of Anytime “Poo and Pee Producing” Machine (APM), but which kid isn’t. Hmmm, so I was happy to meet with a big packet of Uncle Chipps rather my sweet doting cousins but they were too busy in pulling my cheeks and then meeting my parents and my sister. So, I thought with my peanut sized mind that lets not break the news to them that my bladder was inflating with the cold drink they had just offered me. I guessed that my interference in their Utopian world would break this perfect image of happy faces around. So, I let my bladder take over my brain and I felt the bed beneath me becoming wet and cold like the glass I had in hand. The next thing I remember is Mom’s big eyes looking at me and scolding me that why did not I speak. So much for thinking about their Utopian world, Huh!!!
Anyway, this unexpected pee episode didn’t do much damage to much of my reputation as a very obedient and sweet kid. Seriously, adults don’t have any idea what the child is thinking. They just see the big innocent eyes but don’t see the devil which just wants to extract more and more advantage of adults. They didn’t come to know of my secret pee breaks which nourished the flowers in my aunt’s garden. One day, I was caught gardening these plants with my special care which came more from the bladder than the heart. I was scolded and slapped but again I scored with my relentless power of lachrymal glands.
The next few days were generally spent on eating, playing, watching TV , sleeping and innumerable repetitions of this routine. There was no more abrupt leakages from me neither on the bed nor in the garden, hence my mom was at peace. There was more action, but I guess I would leave these for the later posts.
Signing Off...
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