I have completed my engineering. But, this post is not about how awesome my 4 years at IITM was. This is just a post I had written long before, but I hadn't published it. I would be releasing the story in parts. This is the first part. “Swagat hai aap sab ka break ke baad iss adhbhut khel mein
jise hum kehte hai KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI!”, boomed the voice of the star
himself, Amitabh Bachchan.
The guy sitting opposite found himself staring blankly into the red and blue neon
lights. And then the familiar male baritone sounded again, “Mere saath aaj hot seat
par baithe hai Durgapur ke Mr. Sayan Roy aur wo 25 lakh rupaye jeet chuke hai.”
His heart skipped a bit; one wrong answer and he would be
out with only Rs. 3,20,000. He turned to the audience stand, he could see his
Mom and Dad beaming, but dangling on the edge of their seats.
Big B propelled the game forward by asking the penultimate
question; “50 lakh rupaiyon ke liye ye raha aapka agla sawaal.”
Q. Which one of the following tranformations accurately describes
“Apospory”?
a. Embryo from nucleus b. Embryo from integuement
c. Embryo from egg of an embryo sac developed directly from megaspore mother cell
d. Embryo from egg of an embryo sac developed directly from a cell nucleus
It was a tough question, but deep down he swore that he had seen the
question somewhere. This was the moment of truth, if only he could crack this,
nothing could stop him. He was quite confident of his eidetic memory. In his mind, he ruffled the pages of the
botany book. The term ‘Apospory’ ringed a bell, but not so loud that he would
point out the right answer. He had used all the 3 lifelines; one on a question
of history, one on politics and the last one on Olympics! None of these were his
strong subjects.
But, this one was his childhood buddy. Biology was his life.
He could have thrived on chromosomes and cancer for his whole life. But, he
couldn’t believe that biology was ditching me, when he needed it the most. He
murmured to himself, "Et tu Bio?"
He eliminated the first 2 options by logic, but couldn’t
pick between C and D.
“Megaspore or Cell Nucleus?, he whispered, seeing the
saint-like face opposite to me from the corner of my eyes, begging for some
kind of help.
He only got a reassuring smile, but no answer came forward.
He had to take his risks, after all that is what he had learnt till now.
“Option C”, he said, removing the cough in his throat.
“Confident? Lock kar diya jaye?” Big B asked in his male baritone, about
whether he should lock the answer.
“Yes”, He replied.
“Computer ji, please lock option C”
He felt a sudden thrust from above, like he was caught in a
whirl wind of some sort. The answer clicked in his mind now. He had made the
wrong choice. It was D. But, he could not come back. It was like all his dreams
were being washed, one by one.
Just then a sudden jolt woke him up. It was his room-mate,
Anand. He spoke in a hurried fashion, “Wake up dude, it’s already 8.30. The exam
starts at 9!”
This is a post which was long overdue. My last post was in last summer and I almost forgot that I even had a paltry blog of any kind. I had predicted long back that this would happen. I always knew that I would never keep up blogging! But, somehow again, miraculously, I have the zeal back in place.
To be honest, two things triggered this "Rise from the Ashes". One, an Indian victory in cricket! Yes, that too can happen! You, read it right! India, after 16 matches finally won an International match! I know, its not a big deal. It was a T20 after all. But, sometimes, it is important to come back to winning ways. As Anita Bhogle and Harsha Bhogle point out in their book "The Winning Way", winning is a habit which is inculcated by winning teams. I remember a cricket match described in the same book, pertaining to this same phenomenon. It was a test match in 2006 between Aussies and Bangladesh. Bangladesh was staring into victory because Australia were tottering at 145/6 at end of Day 2 after Bangladesh scored 427. But, then Gilchrist, led from the front and scored a marvelous century. Still, the odds were in favor of Bangladesh. And, after that century of Gilchrist, Bangladesh just collapsed like a house of cards in their second innings. It was disastrous and Australia won the match by 3 wickets. This happened because when you lose strings of matches, you don't know how to react when you are in a winning position. Hence, the importance is rise from the ashes. Rather, to be precise, it is to know how to rise from the ashes. To be mathematically sound (which I am not!), India had a good probability to win one game out of 17 matches! But, the important thing is they grabbed it with both hands, when it arrived.
The second thing today which taught me the importance of rising from the ashes is an interactive lecture by Sunil Handa. He is an IIM-A professor. You can read about him in the chapter called "The Alchemist" is Rashmi Bansal's Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish. In short, he is a successful entrepreneur who gives entrepreneurial motivation and lectures to students. His mantra in life is simple: "Fight, Fall down, Get up, Fight, Fall down. Get up, Fight......." For him, his 7th idea struck gold. So, he rose from the ashes 7 times before taking a plunge into the limitless sky. You can savour the sweetness of success only if you have worked your ass off! You can't just sit around waiting for the right opportunity. You need to keep fighting till you win!
Something which I feel is most important in keeping the fighting spirit going is Perseverance. In sports, they call it "stamina". If you would have seen the recently concluded Australian Open final, you would have understood what stamina actually means! If there was one parameter in which Djokovic was way ahead of Nadal, it was STAMINA! In a high-octane tennis grand slam final, which lasted almost a record 6 hours, it is safe to say that the only thing which drove it Djoker's way was his perseverance. It is similar in entrepreneurship, as Mr. Handa points out. You need to "Be Stubborn". Yes, you need to be nagging wife to be a good entrepreneur!
For me, this lecture was more about knowing things which one always knows. Its all common sense, but again in the complexities of life, the simplicity gets lost somewhere. Hence, I would just like to jot down a few points which I felt that it would help me in life, not only in entrepreneurship.
Fight for yourself: In life, you would only fight for things which belong to you. No one else would come to fight your war because its your money, your company, your baby. Your life is at stake and hence it is logical that you would do anything to win the war. No one is going to play Jesus, so stand for yourself.
Inspire Yourself:You are your own teacher. Why is it that in a class of 100, only 1 or 2 people turn their start ups into successful companies. The teaching is same for everybody. It is on the concerned person how he actually inspires himself by the sermons! Even if you are down, keep inspiring yourself. Keep looking at the positive side.
Have Faith: If you keep running in the race, there is good enough probability that you would strike gold. Just have faith in yourself, your idea, your belief, your strengths. No one knows you better than you yourself. Have faith on your winning spirit.
Carve your own path: You would not learn on how to run your own company from other's experiences. Every one carves their own path. That is law of nature. So, keep experimenting, keep an open mind, keep questioning others and steadily move about carving your own path. You have to solve your problems on your own. People can advice, suggest, give consultations. But, it is you who needs to solve it!
Be Inquisitive: You need to ask questions, if you want to make it big. You won't get the answers immediately, you would need to strive for it. Keep questioning status-quo, else you would never attain innovation.
Be Stubborn: You need to act like a persistent kind to become a successful entrepreneur. You need to be have that tenacity to stay steadfast when there is a strong wind on your way. You need to stick to your words, your vision, your dream how much ever people scorn at you. Because, one day, that contempt would turn into solid respect.
Passion doesn't come on its own:People spend their lives searching for their passion. But, in reality, they don't actually search. They just sit there in their normal vicious lives and keep waiting for their passion to arrive at their doorsteps one fine day. That's not gonna happen, mate! So, its time you pick your lazy ass up and start working. You don' find passion; you develop passion! And, that would happen only if you start something!
If you don't know something, Learn it: This is one of the best advices I have ever got in recent time. In every strata of life, people keep complaining, "I don't know about this. How will I do it?" The answer is simple. Learn it! Yes, there is no other way. If you have no freaking clue about something, you need to learn about it!
Invest in people: After a start up takes off, the most important thing is people. Learn a bitter truth. You would never ever get the best people for your company. Because, the best people are already working in bigger companies with fatter salaries. So, you need to take something raw and then make an asset out of it. You need to shower love, affection and trust on these people. Because, then they would remain loyal to you. There would be a few people, who would not change even after 3-4 years. But, there would a few people, who would stay close to you and multiply your turnover multiple times!
Lose the safety net: Mr. Handa's logic was simple. If you feel that your value is worth a lakh per month, then stick to your 'safe' job. But, if you feel that no one can put a price on you, then lose the safety net immediately. Having the IIT / IIM tag does not guarantee safety. People can be sacked anytime. According to Mr. Handa, the safest job is in your own company.
I know that most of you won't reach till the end of this post. Frankly, even I would not have. I have written this for myself more than anybody else. Sometimes, when I am down, when I feel clean bowled, be it any situation, I would just read this post and know that you need to be a phoenix to rise from the ashes! As of now, I can just hope that my blog has finally risen after such a long hiatus!
A lot has been talked and discussed about the recent incidents at IIT Madras. I won’t be delving deep into these unfortunate suicides, because I believe that these are now in the past, and no one can change it. What we can do instead, is take steps to make sure these incidents don’t happen in future.
But, the reality remains that these things will happen in the future. After all, we all are humans. Sometimes, we may just snap and take a poor decision! And, it could happen to anyone. Suicide is primarily an impulsive moment, when one just feels that the only action one can take, is to end all the sufferings. So, why does one do it? Don’t they think about their families, friends, relatives, cousins? Yes, they do! They think, but everything is overshadowed by that single suffering which triggers that suicidal emotion. In that spur of moment, people just go blank, and they take the plunge into the abyss.
There might be times in your life, when nothing is going right and everything seems dark. In that scenario, it has been seen that people keep fighting. They want to get out of that darkness. So, when does the mind shift from an emotion of struggle to an act of self-annihilation? I feel that the trigger happens when the vestigial hopes are shattered. When they see a streak of light at the end of the tunnel, their hopes increase exponentially and reach a maximum point. But, when this glimmer of light also vanishes, their minds just snap. That scene of the light vanishing into darkness just keeps repeating itself before one’s eyes, and the person just thinks that it is better to give up and get out of this darkness once and for all.
So, how the hell do we change this? More primarily, how the hell do we ensure that our near and dear ones don’t tread this path? And more importantly, how do we save ourselves from this momentary lapse of reason? No, I am not being suicidal! I am just making a point!
Incidents like these happen when the person feels that he/she can’t take anymore pressure. Many have criticized saying, “If you can’t take in the pressure, you are not worthy of being an IITian”. Many have sympathized saying, “The pressure to perform is too much to handle, and sometimes, people just cannot take it”. But, no one has told that how to handle this pressure? Who the hell says only IITians commit suicides? Only these incidents come up to the surface of national media recognition. And, what does media do? It conducts few special shows, few talk shows, and writes some editorial articles. Counselors pour in their viewpoints after the damage has been done. And, every blame is just put blankly on the system. Everyone gets united about “changing the system”. Few IIT alumni have started suggesting that increasing the number of females on IIT campuses would help. Every wants to change the system! What I feel is that the approach is altogether wrong. System will always have some flaws, some discrepancies. Even six-sigma approach has tolerance for defects in the system.
I personally feel that these incidents have to dealt personally. We need to train ourselves to start letting out the anger, pain, self-pity which we develop over the years. Suicide happens due to an impulsive decision. But, the suffering is not impulsive. The pain and remorse keeps building over a time period, like pressure keeps building in a pressure cooker. What happens in a pressure cooker when the pressure reaches the maximum level? No, it does not go “BOOM”! It has a pressure regulator / vent pipe which releases the excess steam. We too need an internal pressure regulator in our minds. Everything can be sorted out, if people show their suffering, if people just let out that excess steam. They can let it out by pouring out everything to someone close, by crying out with their heart out or may be by doing something which keeps them happy. The venting out mechanisms depend on the person and can be anything, which makes the person feel that the weight has been lifted upon him. The main motive here is to realize that better things can happen in life. Many people even let out their frustration by breaking furniture, throwing things, etc. Even that is fine until no one is hurt in this process.
It is more of a man to cry your heart out in front of few friends than taking away your own precious life. It is better to be mocked for your emotional outburst at a later stage in life, than having no later stage in life! Many people might have different opinions, but this is what I feel. Hence, developing an intrinsic vent out mechanism is the key to overcome one’s depressions.
I am still clueless about what goes in the mind of person before self-destructing himself. And frankly, I want to remain a clueless spirit in that matter for the rest of my life!
P.S: This post does not intend to denigrate the persons involved in the recent incidents. May their souls rest in peace. I offer my deep condolences to their families and friends.
It seldom happens that when you watch a sci-fi flick, you kind of get sucked into the whole idea of aliens, parallel universes and time travel. And, so it happened with me. I was just thinking about the "Time Machine" and for a fleeting second, one question crossed my mind; "What if I knew the Future?". What kind of effect will it have on me and whether knowing the future will be actually good or will it be just a bad omen? Juxtaposed with these questions, I wrote this poem. What I personally feel is that life should be lived in the present, neither in past nor in future.
IF I KNEW THE FUTURE
Life is a like running clock.
But with surprises and shocks,
You can’t predict the next minute,
Nor to the future, can you commute.
But, if the future was known to me,
And I could alter anything, let it be.
Would that be the ultimate boon?
Or a horrid curse like a menacing goon?
If I saw a future engulfed with darkness,
Would in a delirium, I go, with madness?
Or call for actions to set the present right?
Thence making everything crystals in plain sight.
If I saw a halcyon future sloshed with success,
Would I become complacent, seeing all the excess?
Or would I strive hardest to achieve the symphony?
Like a consummate Beethoven after the harmony.
At times, I wonder if Notradamus foresaw the future
Or were his prognoses like weatherman in a caricature?
Did he try to change the present course of history?
Or did he just lay back and start penning a great story?
If knowing the future gave bitter insomnia?
Or perhaps slowly inducted in paramnesia?
Innumerable questions cross my nous,
Countless doubts mired in an obscure cross.
But, above all, life would become insipid,
For all surprises and shocks would be pushed off the lid,
Gone would be life’s every quest, every adventure,
If somehow, just somehow, I got to know the future!
I wrote this poem around 3 weeks ago, but I did not post this on the blog, only because I thought that the mood wasn't right. Tonight, after completing a tedious 13 page assignment on "Spray Forming", a metallurgical process, it felt right to post this poem on the blog. I am hell tired and right now, I am looking forward to the next day to loosen up my entangled nerves. So, the setting is almost perfect. The poem is titled "In HIGH Spirits" and it captures the emotions when you enjoy a drink after a day of hard work.
It has been quite some time since my last post. More than 3 months have passed since I last wrote. The 5th semester has started and there have been a lot of new things happening. There have been many incidents worth writing, but because of some constraint or other, those posts did not materialize.
This time, I have come up with something different. It is my first attempt at poetry. The poem is titled 'Phoenix', and is about one's determination to rise from a failure.
I wrote this poem in the class, after getting screwed in a quiz. Though, its not a new feeling of getting royally screwed in quizzes, but maybe the build up of average performance in all the previous quizzes just got to me and I had to let it off.
So, here is the poem.
PHOENIX
A story unsaid,
A page unread,
At the hind of my sight,
Memories come to light.
Life became a bloody witch,
Took all desires away from my reach
Cornered in a vicious loop,
Hopes were left to a merciless stoop
Deserted by Lady Luck in a deep abyss,
Dreams in the boulevard became amiss
A cloud of darkness dwelt upon
The nectar of life was long gone.
I closed my eyes in disdain
But, saw a ray at end of a lane
There, I found a new 'ME'
Full of hope, warmth and glee
Past for me was a plight
But, darkness within has tasted a new light
On the pyre which had heard my cries,
The beast would now rise.
Out from the inferno strain,
A charred Phoenix born again
Feel its pulse, Feel its heat
It would live life in every beat.
I would be writing soon and would try to give all of you something refreshing and new to chew on for days.
But, as far this post is concerned, it is about Phoenix, my first poem....
If you want to share your views / comments, then send your bouquets and brickbats by leaving a comment on the post...
Sometimes, one feels that things and people have changed around him. But, most of the times, we ourselves change a lot. One of the most drastic changes come after College. It totally transforms every one of us. We experiment with many things, fail some, fall prey to some, loathe some and fall in love with a few. Change is a law of nature and Change is constant!!!
But, some guys start thinking themselves rock stars by posing in pics with a guitar, though they don't even know how to hold it, forget about playing it!!! They post pics of anything and everything, feeling that it gives a debonair touch to their facebook and orkut profiles. Most of this "DudeGiri" is exhibited online in chats, scraps and profiles.
But for a typical IITian, the change is too large because Kinematics and Magnetics used to be playing ground before, but after passing through JEE, people let their hair down. It is one thing to develop your personality and it is a completely diametric and idiotic thing to act like smooth talking dudes with virtual cool facebook profiles.
Life changes like quicksilver. In 2 years, most of us have changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my friends have changed so much after going to college that it now doesn’t even feel that we were friends before and that I knew them at all. I know it’s a great feeling to show off but sometimes showing it off like you are the only dude in this whole world makes you look a total dud.
Most of these “I am the only DUDE” attitude comes after college. It feels funny when you see one of the earlier greatest nerds in the school showing off in every possible manner and making a complete idiot of him.
I remember what it was like for most of us when we were preparing for JEE.
In schools, we had declared our teachers as useless as they could not solve Irodov or the innumerable problem sheets given by our coaching institutes. So, we spent most of the time bugging the teachers. Most of the evenings were spent in coaching institutes, where we slogged through continuously. In school, girls were very evidently present, from their sudden shrieks of untimely laughter and chuckles, but one had to control the high testosterone levels if he wanted to keep the IIT dreamboat afloat. No prejudice against the fairer sex as we just love them but pretty faces are not the best inspiration when solving Calculus or brooding over Electrostatics. They may be the best for fuelling imagination when writing novels, composing songs, poems and while painting. But, it is certain enough that Mascara and Mechanics don’t mix well like immiscible liquids. So, even if any guy liked a gal, he would not commit to it, otherwise there’s 99% chance of him screwing up the ARMAGEDDON, the all important IIT JEE .
It then comes to the D- day (2 months after the V-Day, most of us were mugging even on that day!!!) and it gets narrowed down to 6 hours of unmatched concentration. Some pass the litmus test; some miss it by the hair. In the end, mostly the ones who could control their androgen for a record 2 years go through.
And then everything changes at a lightning speed after entering these esteemed institutions of national importance.
The nerds try to become smooth talking wannabes overnight and fail miserably in doing so. Their facebook page cries it aloud “Single” and it reads “Interested in: Dating, Friendship”. All of these have profile pictures in all weird angles to make them look suave. They end up exaggerating it making a joke of themselves. The male to female ratio in IITs is disastrous and the chances of finding a single good-looking girl in IIT is worse than that of finding a tiger in the Sariska forest or even worse than that of finding Ganges in Thar desert !!! So, these poor guys are left with no choice but to start dating on the social networking sites. Every guy starts posing with a guitar in his hand with expressions as if taken straight from a live music rock concert. They even start using useless applications on facebook like “Who’s your Lover of day?” and “Who’s your friend of the day. These applications give them a chance to talk to the girl whom the application chooses randomly. So, basically in the virtual world, these applications act like cheesy one liner which desperate losers use as their opening line. The friend list of most of the IITians depicts a mirror image of their situation in IIT with the skewed sex ratio. Even in this virtual world, only 10% of the some 400+ friends are girls.
The love deprived, grade impoverished start smoking cigarettes to cover their lousy love life or because they are fed up off the IIT pressure. Some smoke out of frustration, some smoke to socialise, some smoke to cool off their nerves and take them to an instant high. But, some dumbasses smoke because they think smoking is KEWL (Yeah, Most of these wannabe dudes even spell COOL as KEWL!!!). They smoke cigarettes like they are themselves a blast furnace inside. I don’t have any problem with anyone smoking a cig. It is your life and why in the world should I give a damn. I am not Anubamani Ramadoss to take up such moral responsibility. I just have problem with people who think that the guys who don’t smoke cigs are UNKOOL. I seriously doubt their quotient of KOOLNESS, but still for the record: If you can kick 30 cig butts in a day doesn’t mean the other person can’t. It merely means that the other person doesn’t want to die of Bronchitis or Lung Cancer. It is more of a man to say “NO” to smoking, rather than roasting yourself to ‘Classic Mild’, ‘Regular’ and ‘Gold Flake’.
After the frequent online proposals and their instant rejections, the great young minds turn to one single resort: BOOZE. It is better than a girlfriend because it gives you a greater high, never ditches you, never bothers you with endless questions, and you can then sleep like a log. There’s always a negative shade. If you can’t hold your drink, you would mostly end up waking up in your own vomit. But, if you can hold your alcohol, then Vodka becomes your lady love and Pink Floyd gives the perfect ambience for a romantic candle-light dinner with this lady love! Booze becomes a mandatory routine after each quiz/midsem/endsem gets over. I have encountered incessant occurrences of guys serenading “Magic Moments” and “Royal Challenge” when the minds are as blank as that of a blonde. Sometimes, one needs to resort to these to close the conscious mind and feel the subconscious mind. As profound it may seem, most people start throwing up all over the corridor and end having a awful hangover.
We all have transformed in a couple of years, but we should remember the most important thing that our essence should never change, whatever be the situation...
